Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Heartache.


Sometimes I look at the world around me and see the horrible things that are happening to other people, and I feel extremely guilty for EVER complaining about anything. My life is not that hard.

Having said that, I have to confess that sometimes my burdens get so heavy that my eyes start to water and my nose starts to run, and I use piles of tissues trying to keep from flooding the general area. Today my burdens are so heavy. Can't I find some way to put them down?

You know when you're exercising and your muscles start to burn, but you keep going because it's good for you? And you keep going until the burn is so bad that you can't do it anymore? That's when you stop and walk for a minute and just breathe. The burn goes away and you can start again. I feel like I need to stop and breathe, but when I try to, it just hurts more. I don't see a way that this burn will ever stop.

I have heartache today. It may last forever.

14 comments:

Susan said...

Marianne, I hope whatever is causing you heartache can be resolved. I'll be thinking about you today. Lots of love!

t.t.turner said...

"It may last forever." - Marianne, I hope everything is okay! If there's anything I can do, let me know - I'm really good at sending cookies. :)

Kim said...

Aww, I hope things get better for you. I am so sorry you are struggling. Call me if you need anything at all! Love you!

jsw said...

I am so sorry, Marianne. You are loved!

Julie W.

The Blackham3 said...

You are loved...{{{{hugs}}}}. If you need anything please don't hesitate to call.

Sharon said...

Marianne, my thoughts are with you! We all love you so much!

heath said...

Whenever I feel that way, I blame it on my birth control. But really, I do hope that the heaviness leaves. Maybe you should sing some "Silly Songs" from Veggie Tales (I have great memories of you and Angela going nuts singing those on the bus in England). I sure do love you. Thanks for being willing to open your soul to all of your friends--so often we're quiet about those feelings, but it's so good to know that we're not alone.

Lee and Melody said...

Oh, Sis. I will take your heartache! You are loved so so so SO much. Hang on a little longer, and somehow you'll get your chance to walk and catch your breath again!

Natalie said...

sending a full on cadbury chocolate fountain :( sorry your blue. Love ya.

rboads said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tat said...

Sorry - left my comment as the wrong person. I'll call when it's a decent hour in Utah.

Lainie said...

Marianne! I wish there was something I could do to take the hurt away. You know, I can't watch the news - its too depressing. Running does burn (every day in fact) but it helps lift my mood. Guess that's why I'm obsessed with it. Actually, its really so I can eat! I run so I can eat because I have a love affair with food. This all sounds twisted, I know. What we do to cope, eh? I love you Marianne!

Amber said...

Marianne! You are one of the most good-natured people I know! I KNOW you'll bounce back if you haven't already! You are so wonderful.

Rachel said...

Marianne, I remember one day that I was feeling the same way, and was crying in the practice room hallway in the HFAC. A lovely young lady with a warm smile came up with such compassion in her eyes, and said, "I don't know what's going on, but this might make it better," handing me a piece of chocolate. It meant a lot to me that you were so warm and considerate of someone who you didn't even know at the time. We all love you, I don't know if you know how much!

God bless.