Back when I used to be on Facebook, I was always jealous when I'd see an old friend from High School who looked all slim and trim and not a day over 30. And I'd feel sad because they were looking at pictures of me a full SEVENTY POUNDS heavier than I was when I graduated from High School. And they would say some stupid thing like, "Oh my gosh! You look exactly the same!"
And I would say it right out loud, to my computer and anyone else who happened to be in the room: "You are a LIAR."
Once, I ran into an old friend on campus. This is someone that I spent a great deal of time with back in the day. I was also walking with my husband, who is also friends with this friend. And the BUM didn't even recognize me. (Who did he think it was holding hands with my husband is what I want to know?!) That is what SEVENTY POUNDS will do, my friends.
But, I'd like to tell you all that you can thank me later for being the one who got fat, so you can all feel good about yourselves.
You're very welcome.
9 hours ago